They say, Find a purpose in your life and live it. But, sometimes, it is only after you have lived, that you recognize your life had a purpose, and likely one you never had in mind.”
Time is a constant element that falls short for everyone at some point. Some objects and some incidents feel ridiculously far away in time. As for some memories, we keep pushing them away from the periphery of our minds.
Countless experiences, millions of memories, and thousands of emotions. Quoting one direction here, does it ever drive you crazy just how fast the night changes? The days stay locked in memories just as they are; timeless. It's just the exterior, the body that changes.
This was the first trip I had been on without my family and the sets of humans with whom I was about to make a family. Everything has been planned itineraries, places, costs, and flights. But I wasn’t prepared for this journey. Everything around me tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, Everything around me tells me that this isn't right! But making mistakes is just part of life. The one that I was about to make was the most beautiful one.
What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to return to where I came from because I didn't have the courage to say "yes" to life?
Yet, my mind was wandering. And it wished it was there with someone who could bring peace to itself, someone with whom It could spend a little time without being afraid. With that reassurance, the time would pass more slowly. We could be silent for a while because we'd know we had the rest of our lives together for work, family, and sacrifices. It wouldn't have to worry about serious matters, about difficult decisions and hard words.
I've been in love before. It's like a narcotic. At first, it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day, you want more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes and forget them for three hours. But I had never fallen in love with a thing or a place in itself. The moment I entered Leh I knew I had made the right choice.
I had not researched anything. To be frank I had not even completely known my itinerary. I was promised a bike trip and I had stepped in. Little did we know we were entering a different world in itself.
At every moment of our lives, we all have one foot in a fairy tale and the other in the abyss. The mountains, the clouds, and the star-lit galaxy literally feels like “Ladakh was lost in its own Beauty! In its own perfection”.
I am never awake post 11 PM. I sleep early and wake up early. With the sky so pretty and some amazing people around who wouldn’t sacrifice their precious sleep?
The most important thing in all human relationships is conversation, but people don’t talk anymore, they don’t sit down to talk and listen. They go to the theater, and the cinema, watch television, listen to the radio, and read books but almost never talk. But with these people, it was free-flowing, natural, and easy. Easy Like a Sunday Morning.
We wish for some people to have had more time in life. We try to live in pace with time, but we fall out of tune every now and then. It's the running dark smoke that absorbs all in its course. The people there are so happy in whatever they do. Whether it is a small shop of Maggi they run, whether it is a guide who showcases Ladakh’s beauty, or a lady who sells pashmina shawls and handicrafts there is always a smile on their faces. They are content with what they do every single day.
It was only a smile, nothing more. It didn't make everything all right. It didn't make anything all right. Only a smile. A tiny thing. But I'll take it. With open arms. Because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting.
But then you get used to some places. Now you think about that place for three hours and forget it for two minutes. I could paint a colorful picture of how I’m enjoying the journey of living life every day and shaping into a responsible man through these places. But to tell you the truth, I have had some moments when I felt as if I’m on top of the world, and now when I am back from the dream, I have NO clue whatsoever about where I’m heading.
Whenever you feel that you’ve finally brought things under your control, the universe seems to find a way to show that you’re still careless and irresponsible. The struggle to prove yourself couldn’t get any more accurate, especially when you’re working hard to erase the ‘kid’ label from your identity.
Amongst all this craziness also lies the biggest realization and perhaps the best part of this stage; Everyone goes through this difficult process. Every person has felt lonely about themselves at some point. And even when the world feels like a stranger galaxy to you, there’ll be at least one alien alongside you who’ll understand exactly what you’re going through. Because in some way, everyone is an alien inside their minds. Some cover up their alienated parts, while few are brave enough to let those parts open to the world.
So next time you feel separated from the world, try to think of the clueless aliens running lost around you. Who knows? You might accidentally think of me!
“You are not trying to find the answer to a question, you are simply trying to confirm something you desperately want to believe;”
As I end this monologue I want you to know I just put out all my emotions onto this paper and felt happy that I documented my journey, not regretted an inch for taking the trip and most importantly I made someone smile today.
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